Songs are crazy.

Songs are crazy.

Challenge:  Identify an innocent seeming song that advocates some odd/criminal behavior and reformat it as a police report style article.

Song: Dive by Ed Sheeran


Ed Sheeran, age 25, of Halifax, England was taken into custody by Heathrow police after hijacking a plane on the tarmac late Thursday evening.

The police say officials were called when Sheeran began demanding a gate agent allow him to board a plane without a ticket. Sheeran’s estranged girlfriend was on the flight headed to LA. A friend of the couple who declined to be named said, “They have been on-again, off-again for nearly 2 years. This isn’t the first time he has acted out towards her.”

Police reports filed three years ago detail an incident in which authorities were called to an upscale hotel after a domestic dispute between Sheeran and his then live-in girlfriend. Large amounts of marijuana were found and Sheeran was charged with possession and verbal assault. In court, Sheeran claimed the abuse was warranted due to his the girlfriend’s infidelity.

According to witnesses at the airport, Sheeran had been playing cards at a pub in the airport for several hours prior to the incident. When the plan began boarding Sheeran rushed the line. While waiting for authorities, Sheeran was able to get onto the plane and refused to leave until speaking with his estranged girlfriend. When his demand was not met, Sheeran proceeded to open the rear emergency exit and threaten to jump. After nearly an hour, Sheeran did jump, but rescue crews were able to setup an inflatable mat to which he fell. Within seconds of landing, Sheeran was taken into custody for psychiatry evaluation.

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